Every Breath We Drew Was Hallelujah
by SaveMarissa
Summary: A different way to end the timeless love between two Orange County teens...RM all the way...


I've been having a tough time dealing with the way Marissa died and the end of the Ryan/Marissa relationship. I don't believe that there weren't anymore stories for the two of them to have and I really enjoyed watching their on-screen chemistry. This story is just a one-shot, but I think it's a more appropriate way to end this amazing relationship.

Note: I don't own the song "Hallelujah", but I absolutely love it and it applies to RM so well.

"It's going to be okay."

Ryan Atwood whispered to the love of his life, lying in his arms. Her eyes were closed and she didn't seem to be breathing. His tears continually blurred his vision, but he looked around and saw all white. There were no trees or a burning car behind him. There was no hard asphalt below him. There was only him and Marissa. He blinked again and saw the hospital room that Marissa had been taken to. He looked at her pale composure and heard the faint beep of the machine next to her that only dared to make the noise every few minutes.

_I've heard there was a secret chord  
That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
It goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall, the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah  
Hallelujah_

He held her hand and kissed it, just like he did every minute that passed. He didn't know what else he could do for her. She was lost, and he couldn't help her find her way back like he always had before. This struggle was all her own, and all Ryan could do was standby and watch.

Volchok. The name stirred the rage and anger inside of him. When, not if, Marissa got well, he would find the man and make him pay for the pain he had caused. Ryan didn't care if he had to search the whole earth. Volchok would get what was coming to him, for Marissa's sake.

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
She tied you  
To a kitchen chair  
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah  
Hallelujah_

Julie Cooper had come between them so many times before. Love was never easy for the two of them. It was continually being tested. Still, it was Ryan who was always there for Marissa. It was Ryan who never betrayed her. When the accident had occurred, and an ambulance had just coincidentally passed by a few minutes after Marissa had told him to stay, it was Ryan who was watching over her. The paramedics took her body from Ryan's arms and tried to resuscitate her. This reminded him of the many times Julie had tried to take Marissa from him. And when they got to the hospital and Julie could barely look at her daughter, it was Ryan who watched through the window as the doctors tried to save her.

_Maybe I have been here before  
I know this room, I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
Love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah  
Hallelujah_

He had seen her like this so many times before. Silent. Hopeless. Broken. Still, she was beautiful. It was with Marissa that Ryan first experienced love. Even Theresa had never made him feel like this. It was in this moment that Ryan realized what love was. Love was tragedy. Love was sitting next to Marissa Cooper, holding her hand, and knowing that he would never feel this way again.

_There was a time  
You let me know  
What's real and going on below  
But now you never show it to me, do you?  
And remember when I moved in you?  
The holy dark was moving to  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah  
Hallelujah_

It no longer felt like he was even in the room. Ryan felt numb and hopeless, like he was someone just watching this tragic scene and not even taking place in it. He couldn't look at her face anymore, he couldn't feel her skin. It was making him weak and lifeless.

Ryan's head was bowed when he barely heard the faint whisper from above.

"Please don't cry anymore."

He lifted his head and saw Marissa Cooper's beautiful eyes staring right into his heart. He stood up and kissed her. And he heard her groan.

"I won't be here much longer."

"I'll go get a doctor."

He started to get up, when she grabbed his hand, with the little strength she could muster. She had told him not to cry anymore, so he tried to hold back the tears.

"It's okay, Ryan. Really, it's better this way."

"No, Marissa, no. I won't lose you. I can't lose you."

"I'll never leave you, I promise. I will never stop loving you."

"But you won't be here. I'll never see your smile, or hear your laugh, or feel your lips on mine. Pictures won't help, Marissa."

"I don't want us to be upset right now."

He apologized, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Then what can I do for you?"

"I want you to lay with me. Dying in your arms would be the best way I could hope to go."

Ryan pulled back the blankets and moved her frail frame, so that it lay against him. The warmth of his body made Marissa feel safe. This felt right. This was right. He wrapped his arms around her, and whispered in her ear.

"How do you feel?"

Tears rose to her eyes and Ryan felt her body tense up against him.

"Scared as hell."

"There's no need to be scared anymore. I've got you, Marissa, and I'll never let you go. Never."

_Maybe there's a god above  
And all I ever learned from love  
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you  
And it's not a cry you can hear at night,  
It's not somebody who's seen the light  
It's cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

Her body relaxed once again and her eyes closed. Ryan knew this was it. He had to tell her to make this easier.

"Marissa?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

His heart broke. This was the end. Both of them had promised not to cry, but a single tear fell from both of their cheeks. In Marissa's last two words, she said everything that he ever needed to hear. Those words summarized their entire relationship, the good and bad.

"Thank you."

The next morning, as the two lovers were still wrapped in each other's arms, a doctor came in the room and pronounced both Marissa Cooper and Ryan Atwood dead. Marissa Cooper had died of head trauma and internal bleeding. Ryan Atwood was found to have no other reason to have left the world, but death due to a broken heart.

_Hallelujah._


End file.
